“Use this time wisely, go the cinema, art galleries, read books, have a coffee on your own, oh and write that blog! ..as you will NEVER be able
to do those things again”…advanced warning from my mummy friends?!
On the cusp of motherhood at 41 and having been pretty much a ‘free spirit’ for much of my adult life, I simply cannot comprehend how this new being will change my life. It is the unknown, which usually would excite me but motherhood really has me quite nervous, curious, excited and petrified all at the same time! I know myself single (was single for most of my adulthood), I know myself with my husband (very recently) but how will motherhood affect me, change me, change ‘us’ and change my view on life? I will find out in 10 days time!…
Bit of background.
I’m sharing this to give hope to all those 30, 40 something’s ‘0h it’s never going to happen to me’ readers….
I suffered for 10 years with monthly chronic abdominal pain for 10 days (from mid cycle to first day of menstruation) with no clear diagnosis. I had a stream of treatments over the years consisting of two laparoscopies, numerous scans, Western medicine, Chinese medicine, alternative medicine, ayurveda, naturopaths, nutritionists, body healers, yoga, crystals, witches and angels you name it I tried it…’my pains’ left me feeling exhausted, depleted, depressed and daily life during that time was an uphill struggle both in my professional and personal life.
Based on my medical history one obstetrician said it would take a ‘miracle’ to get pregnant…. 7 pregnancy tests later it finally sunk in that a dream I dare not dream had actually come true and amazingly all my chronic symptoms have since disappeared. I have never felt better, my energy has returned and I feel far more balanced emotionally and energised generally.
During this process it has become clear to me that the female body and the effect of hormones still remains a mystery to many Doctors and much of the attempted diagnosis felt to me more like guess work? So if you are suffering with unexplained gynecological, fertility, digestive, emotional and hormone related issues, keep trying different Doctors, techniques and changes in diet and lifestyle and never lose hope. I love Claudia Spahr’s book ‘Right Time Baby’. She focuses on the positive aspects of approaching fertility, motherhood over the age of 35 both from a scientific and holistic point of view.
For me it was not a conscious decision to leave motherhood to ‘later-on’. In my 20’s I was preoccupied with partying and travelling, in my 30’s I was preoccupied with partying, travelling and many failed attempts at finding my ‘dream job’ and ‘dream man’ but by the time I reached 40 there was a shift, I was living a healthier, more balanced lifestyle, the partying had subsided replacing hangovers with yoga classes and I had finally found a job, home and man that I loved.
Letting Go
‘Letting Go’ is something you will hear cued a lot in a yoga class and it took me a while to really understand what this meant for me, after repeated asana (postures) I realised, for me it was letting go of the need to ‘perfect’ and angst over the ‘should be by now’s’.., I let go of judgement (of myself) and let things simply be as they were (whether that be my less than perfect handstand or where I stood in my life at that moment) and with that came a huge amount of contentedness, gratitude and peace. I also realised that life doesn’t need to be complicated or dramatic but you are very much the influencer of this state of being. As Louise Hay believes, we live in a ‘yes universe’ and we attract whatever we believe to be true, the good and the bad (whether it is true or not!).
Of course, I am not saying that the perfect job, motherhood or marriage or whatever is deemed to make people ‘happy’ is the be all and end all but
I do believe that once your inner self settles and stops fighting for the need to perfect, you leave space for
amazing things to come your way…miracles even!
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